A SEASON TO REFLECT ON LIFE
By: Frank E. Fain PhD
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
In this Retirement as Life’s Sabbath series we have presented retirement as a time to cease our life’s occupation so we can have the time to work on our vertical relationship with God and our horizontal relationships with our spouse, family, and friends. A person’s internal relationship with him or her self is the topic of this the last article of the series.
Although no two individuals observe the weekly Sabbath identically, a very common practice in the observance of this Jewish holy day is taking time for private prayer and reflection. This quite time helps the individual to discover the meaning of life events. A time for a person, with God’s help, to develop some sense acceptance and peace with what he or she has experienced since the last Sabbath.
In applying this weekly practice to our Life’s Sabbath model we can say one of retirement’s purposes is for us to take time to reflect on the events of our life in order to discover the meaning of these events. It is also a time to resolve lingering issues and to accept what has happened in order to find peace and satisfaction. The goal of this reflection is to fall in love with ourselves as God loves and accepts us. There are at least four steps to this process.
First, we need to review the events of life honestly and with clear hindsight. This step could be as simple as looking through family photographs and recalling the events captured there. It could also be a bit more detailed and time consuming. For example some retirees are finding it very beneficial to write their memoirs, others are doing the same thing by recording their life story on tape and video. This first step can be both painful and joyful but always beneficial.
The second step is to rejoice and celebrate your accomplishments. No matter how difficult a life one has lived everyone has done something good and positive. Take time to “pat yourself on the back” and “bask in the glory”.
The next step is to deal with the unpleasant things in life. First, try to forget the mistakes you have made. Ask God to help you forgive yourself as He has forgiven you. Next forgive others any wrong you may feel they have done against you. Start with your parents. Yes I know they may be dead but if your feel wronged you are keeping a negative image of them alive by not forgiving them. Next forgive your spouse, children, coworkers, and others. It is important to forgive because the lack of forgiveness is the root of bitterness which is a common negative trait of many older adults.
The fourth step is to affirm your importance to the world and the human race. Many of us are like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life; we are too busy living our life to see the influence we have had in our world and in other people. In our retirement years we have the time to reflect and to see that we did touch and enriched many lives and made a positive contribution to the world. In short, the world is a better place because of our life.
(If you missed a column in this series, the entire Retirement as Life’s Sabbath is available online at www.thebaptisthome.org.)
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